"Mommy Mad?"

Nathan at 25 months was potty trained but don't be mistaken this was no easy feat and may never again be repeated by another child of mine on account of me anyway. There have been many struggles and things that I wish I had known prior to going into this job. Needless to say I have been down right mad about the whole situation unfortunately, more than once. Also about this time it occurred to me that I should be teaching Nathan about feelings and how to appropriately respond to our feelings. Not having a real good role model on this subject as a child, I must admit I wasn't real sure what was appropriate. So I do what I do often when there is something I feel I ought to know but don't, I got a book and read up on expressing your feelings. Apparently your suppose to verbalize them, in a calm and collected manner of course. Whoever wrote this book had obviously never had the joy of dealing with a 2 year old that is running around frantic with the urgency to poop while saying, "no poopy Mommy, no poopy". If at this point you put him on the potty, whilst he is screaming "no poopy" he proceeds to cry and I feel like I should help somehow, but how. If only he would just push it out, instead he squeezes with all his might to prove his point. After a few minutes of this he gets down only to run around frantic again after a few seconds because he is feeling the urge. But "no poopy, Mommy." So after several weeks of this Nathan had seen me mad occasionally. As you remember I didn't grow up watching feelings be vocalized in a calm and collected manner so I have on occasion been known to raise my voice, just a little. I have actually began to improve only to have my husband think I'm weird when I calmly say, "I am mad". Apparently he's use to me slamming the door whilst I excuse myself from the room. I don't know why.
On Christmas Eve and Day Nathan had diarrhea, some bug we got while having a play date probably. You know it's difficult to leave the house in this weather without catching something. Of course he had urgency, only this time when the urge hit, since it was diarrhea, he lost his squeezing ability, so it just came out. After cleaning him, his big boy pants and the floor, several times, he was in the bathroom watching me clean the floor, etc, etc and asked, "Mommy mad?" I truly wasn't mad and hadn't calmly verbalized so or displayed any subliminal message to express such, I didn't think. But apparently my past had left an impression on his mind. I only hope that my present and future can leave one as well. I hugged him and explained that accidents happen, just like on "Thomas" and that I knew he hadn't done it on purpose.